Novice Pop

Let People Know Just How Much They Bother You… With Paper

Finding the right words to let someone know how much they suck can be difficult. I can’t even begin to count how many times I’ve gotten upset at someone, anyone - for doing something stupid, but kept it to myself because the right words just wouldn’t come.

Thanks to some clever, innovative individuals out there in web-land, though, I no longer have to think for myself when trying to decide the on the perfect expletive or insult for that jack-ass who won’t get off his damn cell phone and quit holding up the checkout line at the grocery store.

Now I can just hand them a card or a slip of paper, and all the insulting is handled for me:

• for the dillhole who rendered the last parking space in the lot worthless, because he decided that the lines painted on the ground are just there for decoration…
  The “You Park Like An Asshole” Infraction Notice from You Park Like An Asshole
• for the moron who feels that his cell phone conversations are sooooo important, that we should all hear them…
  SHHH! Cards from Coudal Partners
• and for the general pain in the ass - last, but not least, we have…
  The Douche Card from Orange 32

The Perfect Gift for Fathers of Teenage Girls

Hey, got a teenager with friends who drive you up the wall? Do you wish they would all just go away? My son isn’t even born yet, but I’m already anticipating picking up one of these “Mosquitoes” in case he acquires any obnoxious, slacker acquaintances as he grows up.

I’d imagine a device like this would be a huge hit with the fathers of teenage girls. You could drive away all the hormone-hyperdriven, teenage boys that show up at your doorstep to take your daughter out.