Being a Father Vs. Being a Dad
Today I’d like to take the time to bring up a subject very important to me, and, I’m sure, to many of you out there as well. I’d like to talk about the difference between being someone’s father and being someone’s dad. I know it may seem confusing, but I’m going to be using the terms “father” and “dad” to mean tow important, but very different things.
Father - By “father”, I am talking about merely being the biological male parent to someone, nothing more, nothing less.
Dad - By “dad”, I mean the act of responsibly raising a child by a male. This male does not need to be a biological parent to the child. For example he may be a Stepfather or an adoptive parent.
To me one of these roles is far more important than the other. I’ll be you can guess which one.
Over the course of my short adult life I have heard far too many stories where a woman became pregnant, and at the mere mention of the word baby, the biological father threw up their hands, turned tail, and ran.
In cases like this the “man” in this story is a father, but in no way does he constitute a dad in my mind.
I’ve also had to many people tell me stories about how absent their dad was when they were growing up. Yes, he provided for them, and he was around here and there, but the time he could have spent with his child he spent elsewhere. Again, this man does not make it to the role of a dad that I hold in my mind.
I understand that providing financial support, and in some cases, the only financial support, can take a lot of time. And I’m not trying to discredit the men out there who break there backs, or deal with extraordinary amounts of mental stress to “bring home the bacon” so to speak. All I’m saying is that the role of a dad doesn’t end there.
Make the time you have with your child count. Take an interest in your child’s interest, even if you have no interest in the subject yourself. Take an interest in your child. There is nothing, in my mind, more important than being a good dad and husband. For most of us, our children and the way we raise them are our greatest legacy.
June 10th, 2006 at 11:25 pm
I don’t quite understand cause I am soon to be a father and I am going to be this childs DAD even though I have to work two jobs just to support my family and I really do not appreciate the remark of the whole, take part in your childs life more often if you want to be a dad rather than a father, because I plan to take part in my childs life but I do what I need to do in order to keep food on the table and provide what is needed. I am going to be there and there is nothing that will change that but it is hard sometimes.
donald lundgren
June 10th, 2006 at 11:56 pm
Donald, I think you misunderstood the point of this post.
I never once stated that in order to be a “Dad” you need to spend MORE time with your child. I merely mean to say that as Dads, no matter how little time we get to spend with our children, we should make that time as meaningful and important as possible.
This may seem to you, and to many other people out there as a “no-brainer,” but there are fathers out there who feel that their duties end with a paycheck, and that is just not so.
From the tone of your comment, it is clear that you are not one of those people.
Believe me I understand the stress of working two jobs to support one’s family. I myself work two full-time jobs, and I commend you for extending yourself in this way to ensure that your family is provided for.
July 24th, 2006 at 10:51 pm
I think you make a good point about there being a difference being father and dad. MY ex boyfriend is my child’s biological, but he has only seen her once and really wants nothing to do with her other than to use the fact that he has child support garnished from his wages as a pity story. He is NOT a dad, he’s a father.
I hope someday I can meet a man who will want to take on the role of dad to my daughter. Her grandpa (my stepdad) has that role now and he’s more of a dad to her than I could ever hope her father would be.